Snippet Saturday – Humor

Today’s snippet theme is Humor. Enjoy a look from one of my books.

An snippet from Seducing a God…

With a barely stifled moan Paula Stroker wondered how much trouble she would get into if she jumped across the aisle and beat the wedding planner with that damn stick she was waving around. Everyone else was hanging onto every word the snotty piece of shit was saying. She couldn’t figure out how many times you had to practice to walk down the aisle. Sheesh you walked everyday for God’s sake. Frowning she resisted her impulse although she would have liked to shock everyone who saw her as the well-behaved one.

You’re just bitter it isn’t you that’s getting married. She almost snorted in laughter at that whopper. Her inner voice had a warped sense of humor. So what if she was single at thirty-five and her mother had resorted to throwing men at her who needed a zookeeper. As if she had heard her thoughts, her mother, Adrianna Stroker, glanced back at her with pity in her eyes. It took all Paula’s control not to scream she would rather have her eyeballs plucked out than get married, then bolt out the door. She tried a smile instead. Her mother nodded then went back to watching the wedding planner like the words coming out of her mouth were gold.

She knew exactly what her mother was thinking when she looked at her. “If Paris was ready to settle down why couldn’t Paula?” Glancing at Paris Stroker, her sister and the bride-to-be, Paula saw Paris roll her eyes. Stifling a laugh Paula still couldn’t believe it. Paris was getting married. Paris who had always said, “You won’t get me down the aisle unless I have lost my mind”. Yet here she stood the wild child ready to tie the knot. Put on the old ball and chain or any of those other silly sayings. Something had to be seriously wrong.

Looking over at Nathan Randall, Paris’ fiancé, she still couldn’t figure out how he had convinced her. Yes, he was handsome with his chiseled good looks, head-over-heels in love with Paris and smart. He was in charge of the Marketing Department of Tantalize Me, the company she co-owned with Paris. Three years ago Nathan and Paris had met at work and fallen in love. They had been living together ever since. She knew that Nathan had asked Paris to marry him many times but she had refused. At least, until a month ago when suddenly they announced they were getting married in a month. Mom had a fit, thinking Paris was pregnant. Since they had already been living together she and Paris hadn’t understood what the big deal was.

When their mother had explained that living together before marriage was fine but being pregnant before marriage was a huge deal they had just looked at her like she was missing a few bricks. Her mother had a slanted way of looking at things. They already knew her view on marriage. She had been living with Christopher for fifteen years and still refused to marry him. Her claim that she couldn’t dream of marrying anyone after their dad died was a load of shit since she could live with them.

After realizing that Paris was not pregnant but wanted to get married Mom had wondered how she could plan a wedding in that time. They had known she was just being coy. She liked nothing more than having a party. From the announcement to now, one week before the wedding, it had been non-stop preparations, fittings and all the wedding hoopla. Paula was sick of it. She couldn’t even try to escape as she had planned from this, the engagement party. Her mother, the wedding general from hell, and her little minion the wedding planner, the devil’s helper, had dragged them all into a separate ballroom away from the party to practice the walk down the aisle for the gazzlionth time.

The wedding planner went from person to person arranging them and telling them how to stand. When her turn came Paula gave the planner a look and she backed up smiling tightly. They had already had a run in with what Paula would and would not put up with.

Copyright © Taige Crenshaw, 2007.
All Rights Reserved, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.

Go to the following sites to check out these other great authors snippets:

Vivian Arend
McKenna Jeffries
Ashley Ladd
Kelly Maher
Shelley Munro
Taige Crenshaw
Lauren Dane
Shelli Stevens
TJ Michaels